New House Mate
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: And she doesn't stand for any nonsense! Written mostly because I felt like the Penguins could do with a bit of a... feminine touch, in a warped sense.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Penguins of Madagascar, DreamWorks does. Apologies if they are a little OC, I've never written Penguins before. I have two OCs, you'll meet one in a minute.**

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><p>"Skipper!" Private froze from his training and pointed frantically. "Alice!"<p>

"Cute and cuddly, boys!" The four penguins fell into a line and waved casually. The zoo had closed for the day- why was Alice still here?

The zookeeper dropped the wooden plank to form a bridge and cautiously climbed over the fence. In one hand, she held a pet carrier case, its contents obscured by a newspaper lining and a blanket. Alice huffed as she set the cargo down, wiping an arm across her brow.

"Here you go, _penguins_," She spat the word with all the contempt she could muster against animals, "a new friend to do whatever weird things you freaks do with." She unlocked the cage and left, pulling back the plank with a ragged sigh.

Private took a step forward, eager to meet the new arrival.

"Private!" His commanding officer reprimanded. "That could be an enemy spy in there, armed to the teeth with all sorts of dangerous mayhem!" Skipper looked a little too intrigued at that with the usual paranoia; the devilish glint in his eyes was enough to send Private back to his place in the line.

"We don't have teeth." The four of them froze in place, peering into the case. "And I certainly don't have _all sorts of dangerous mayhem_." The voice mimicked. Skipper bristled, drawing himself up to his full height.

"Show yourself!" He ordered.

"Alright, alright, keep your beak on." The blanket disappeared from view and a white, abstract orb rolled out.

"Egg!" Rico acknowledged, flapping his flippers. "Girl!" He added as the egg's mother stepped out, blinking in the sunlight. Their new house guest regarded them coolly with her ice blue eyes, deftly nudging her egg onto her feet without stooping or looking away. Rico garbled, waving his flippers about his head.

"Right you are, Rico." Kowalski agreed. "Ma'am, I believe it is the job of the male penguin-"

"To look after the egg, I know."

"Then, if you don't mind me asking," Private intervened, "why have you got it?" She sighed miserably, clearly reluctant to say more than the following:

"I got separated from my rookery following a big storm. Wild life preservers took me in and I laid this two weeks ago." She nudged her egg slightly with her foot.

"What's your name?" Skipper demanded dubiously, stepping forward and motioning to his men to be quiet.

"Fuchsia."

"Aaaah!" Julian landed in their midst, using Private as a shield. "I demand to know the whereaboutsness of the dreaded Foosa!"

"No, no, _Fuchsia._ Not… whatever you said. Just call me Fiz."

"Fish!" Rico scrambled about excitedly.

"_Fiz_." She corrected impatiently. "Heavens above, you men are thick." The three penguins gasped in shock, looking to their leader. Skipper did not take sexism lightly.

However, Skipper didn't get a chance to say anything. Julian had squealed in excitement and had darted forward.

"You have a J.J!"

"A what?"

"Uh, _duh_." He pointed at the egg. "The heir to my kingly kingdom! I am needing your J.J."

"Ringtail!" Skipper scolded.

"You try to take this egg and I'll boot you back to whatever _sewer_ you crawled from." Julian recoiled and then stood up to his fullest height.

"That is no way to be speaking to your king!"

"I'm sorry, I'm not in the Lost and Desperate Kingdom." Skipper chuckled as Julian gaped at her, outraged and dumbfounded.

"I like her already."

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><p><strong>Sorry it's short, but it's all I've got at the minute. I do have ideas jotted down in note-form, but still trying to write them up. Thoughts? :D <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

For a week, Fuchsia remained topside and oblivious to the Penguin HQ just below her feet. She point-blank refused for Private, Rico and/or Kowalski to look after the egg so she could get a good night's sleep or just five minutes rest. Kowalski even offered to make her an incubator- which led her to believe there was a mad scientist's lab somewhere in the habitat- but she politely declined. Wherever that lab was, there were many explosions. She had quickly cottoned on that Kowalski's inventions often backfired.

"Skipper?"

"Yes, Private?" The younger penguin wrung his flippers, anxiously glancing at the ceiling. "What is it, Private? I'm in the middle of winning." Skipper was in a high-stakes chess game with Kowalski- if he lost, he had to agree to trial run one of Kowalski's gizmos.

"It gets cold at night, sir, and Fuchsia is up there."

"Penguins _like _the cold, Private." Skipper reminded him, moving his rook three to the left and taking Kowalski's knight.

"But eggs are supposed to stay _warm_." Private countered.

"Ugh, _fine_. But if she causes any trouble, it's on _your_ head." Private smiled gratefully, saluting and thanking him. He darted up the ladder and popped out of the ground, startling Fuchsia from her slumber.

"Penguin-mole hybrids. I've seen everything."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Can I help you?"

"No, but I can help you." She sighed and started to speak, but Private cut across. "Skipper says you can come down here and keep your egg warm." She eyed him suspiciously.

"Well, what's down there?"

"You'll see. Come on!" Fuchsia regarded him through narrowed eyes. "I assure you it is perfectly safe."

"Kaboom!"

"_Ricoooo_!"

"And that's the fifth microwave this week." Kowalski sighed.

"Sounds it." Fuchsia smirked.

"Please! If you're cold, your egg's cold too!"

"You've got a point there, bud. And I want to see that explosion; it sounded _awesome_." She shuffled forward, keeping her egg in place. She allowed Private to take it and put it safely inside and then dropped down. "Whoa, Penguin Central." The door swung open as Fuchsia secured her egg and Marlene strolled in.

"Hi guys!" She called. "Oh, and girl and egg." She smiled at Fuchsia. "They finally let you down here then?"

"Not what I imagined."

"You told her about our secret HQ?" Private asked.

"I _hinted_ that you guys were a bit… extreme. But it's cool, she knew nothing of your little 'missions'."

"Hey!" Kowalski protested. "No air-quoting!" Marlene shrugged good-naturedly.

Marlene had visited Fuchsia over the past week, having initially bought a Hello-neighbour gift of fresh sardines and flowers. They had quickly become good friends and the otter had recounted some of the more interesting stories surrounding the Penguins.

Skipper returned, Rico in tow.

"Drop and give me fifty!" The commanding officer ordered. Rico grumbled, but obliged, starting his fifty push-ups.

"Fifty? Pfft! If that was the fifth microwave this week, make it a hundred." Rico groaned and garbled complaints. Fuchsia's eyes glinted cheekily as she folded her flippers expectantly. Skipper looked from her to his soldier and back again.

"That's hardly necessary."

"Oh, you're right! Two hundred sounds much better!" Rico collapsed, exhausted at the mere thought of it. "I thought you said your men were in _tip-top physical condition_." Marlene sniggered at the crude Skipper impersonation, stifling her giggles under Skipper's stink eye.

"I give the orders around here so I'll decide how many push-ups they'll do. Rico- that was four not fifty! Start again!"

"Why don't you just tell him that if he destroys another microwave, he'll be doing two hundred?" Rico shook his head.

"She has a point, Skipper. Rico doesn't want to do two hundred, so I doubt he'll risk another microwave kaboom." Marlene intervened, smiling approvingly at Fuchsia.

"Alright, _fine_." He turned back to Rico. "Rico, one more microwave incident and you'll do the two hundred, as the _girls_ said."

"You got something against girls?" Fuchsia demanded, light-hearted teasing aside. Skipper half-turned to stare her out, not backing down.

Neither did she.

It became one of the most intense staring matches known to penguin and otter kind. Neither backed down, neither blinked and neither were going to. "I asked you a question." Fuchsia said slowly. "Have. You. Got. Something. Against. Girls?"

"I don't need a _girl_ telling me how to do my job!"

"Well, clearly you do!"

"This is a well-oiled commando penguin force!" Skipper stood up straighter, prouder. "I _do_ know how to run it."

"Oooh, shocker." They glowered at each other in silence for another minute before both had to turn away and blink, rubbing at their eyes and calling the other all sorts of names. Kowalski covered Private's ears to block out the worst of it.

Rico jabbed at them and gargled something.

"I've no idea who won." Kowalski replied. "It'll probably be best to keep these two apart though."

"Oh, don't do that!" Marlene whined. "If anyone's going to keep Skipper on his toes, it's Fuchsia."


	3. Chapter 3

"Rico, give our guest some soundproofing." Rico obliged, barfing up a pair of thick, spotted ear muffs. Fuchsia caught them, but held them at flipper-length. As much as Rico's… _gift_ intrigued her, it also appalled her. First of all- it was physically impossible for him to store all that in his stomach or whichever dark depths his supplies came from. Second- wherever they did come from couldn't be all that nice, so she wasn't likely to put these ear muffs on.

"They're perfectly safe!" Private said a little too loudly. The four boys had their own pair of ear muffs. The lemurs were having one of their _parties_ tonight. It didn't take a genius to say that Fuchsia was _not_ happy.

"I've got a better idea." Fuchsia tossed aside the soundproofing and smirked at Rico. "Got any dynamite?"

"What are you doing?" Skipper asked cautiously, intercepting the stick of dynamite as it leapt from the bottomless pit of danger.

"Now, that'd spoil the surprise!" Fuchsia snatched the dynamite from the commanding officer and ordered Private to watch her egg for a minute. Private was thrilled- it took him mere seconds to collect the egg. Seconds, in which, Fuchsia had disappeared.

A minute later, the loud and offensive music was cut off mid-beat by an almighty explosion and Julian's wailing. Mort arrived, also crying, and landing on his face after falling through the hatch.

"King Julian's boomy box is the wrong kind of boomy!" He sobbed, throwing himself at Skipper's feet.

"Rico, Kowalski- go and get that crazy female under control!"

"I am perfectly under control, thank you." Fuchsia dusted her wings on her front and retrieved her egg from Private, thanking him for the brief egg-sitting. "Now, I believe it's lights out for you _big strong men._" She mocked them a little by flexing her flippers and deepening her voice in what had quickly become known as 'The Skipper'.

Julian arrived then, in one of his 'freaky out' modes.

"She kaboomed my boomy box!" He raged. "Your king is demanding repercussionings!"

"Stand down, Ringtail." Skipper sighed. "We'll deal with your _boomy box_ in the morning." The lemur king leapt forward and grabbed Skipper by the head, enforcing a fierce staring competition. "Ringtail!" Skipper growled warningly.

"I, as your king, am needing a new boomy box! Right now!"

"I did tell you to turn it off." Fuchsia replied casually, flicking a speck of dust from her egg. "But you didn't, so I _kaboomed_ it."

"You can do a Julian too!" Private giggled.

"I'm quite good at impersonations, even if I do say so myself." She winked cheekily at Private. "Gov'nor." Skipper snorted, trying not to look as if he was amused by her teasing the private- he was doing his best to make it clear that Fuchsia was an inconvenience at the best of times. Everyone else could see that this wasn't really the case.

"Hello!" Julian frantically waved his arms, stamping his feet. "My boomy box! It is exploded-ded all over my kingdom!"

"Have you tried the latest thing cool people do?" Fuchsia quizzed. Julian froze, curiosity momentarily breaking through his temper. "It's called _sleeping_. Good night." She clapped once and the lights went out. Calmly, she shifted to her corner, wrapping her egg securely in the soft, fleecy blankets Marlene had provided before settling down on her own pile of bedding.

Private managed to quell Julian until the morning and they all retired to their bunks. Rico kept snickering to himself and whispering to his doll. Kowalski and Private fell asleep instantly.

Skipper waited until Rico had dozed off as well before sitting up and looking over at their housemate. She had her back to them, but she was humming, so she clearly wasn't asleep. "I know you're watching me." She declared randomly, not moving to face him. "You've an intense stare sometimes. Especially when you're thinking."

"You do know Ringtail won't let up until he's sorted out his accursed noise maker."

"So? That spoilt brat should have his so-called reality set straight."

"We've tried. It's easier just to humour him."

"Taking the easy way out, are we?" She rolled over to smile sweetly at him, her eyes glinting sarcastically. "Now, I thought that was something a leader as fine and up-standing as yourself never did."

"There are always last resorts."

"Uh-huh." She nodded, smile still in place. Annoyance started to tick over Skipper's temper. "Hey, you fry your own fish. Not my problem."

"Well, it is your problem, sister. You completely demolished his stuff."

"It _was_ fun. You should have seen the explosion!" A chuckle rumbled through Skipper before he realised it. He cleared his throat to try and cover it, but she had noticed. "What is it with you pretending to hate me?"

"I'm not pretending."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about your amazing _acting_ skills." Skipper ignored her and lay back down, turning his back on her. "Night night, Skipper."

"Night." He grunted.

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><p>In the morning, Fuchsia had them all sit at the table as she wanted a 'word' with them.<p>

"Right, no putting my egg through any of your military mumbo-jumbo. I heard about Eggy or J.J or whatever he's called now and I'm not having mine turn out the same thank you very much." She eyed them all suspiciously. "Are we clear?"

"Yes ma'am." Kowalski, Private and Rico agreed. Skipper scoffed. Fuchsia glared at him.

"Military training will do it some good! You should be jumping at the chance."

"No."

"Ah, well, suit yourself." Skipper shrugged. "But what if they're out and about and all alone? And then- _ninjas_!" Skipper leapt up onto the table, swiping violently at Fuchsia. She didn't even flinch, watching him, unimpressed. "Alright, fine. Be like that."

"I will."

"Your loss."

"Not really."

"Look!" Private interrupted, sliding down from his seat. He proceeded to hop from one foot to the other excitedly, giggling. "Look!" He insisted. "It's hatching!"

"Early…" Kowalski mused.

"No, that's about right."

"But my calculations state that-"

"No jibber-jabber, Kowalski!" Skipper commanded. "We don't need that ruining this precious moment!"

"Aww, never knew you could be sentimental." Fuchsia teased.

"I'm just full of surprises." She just hummed and they all hurried to the egg. The crack in it expanded and a small foot popped out. Private cooed a greeting as the rest of the egg snapped away.

A fluffy infant looked up at them curiously. "Oops." Fuchsia gently turned the child the right way up. "My bad." She sat and her baby tumbled into her flippers, snuggling up to her for warmth. "Good boy." She soothed, patting his head.

"A boy?"

"Yep. Now I'm even more outnumbered."

"What are you going to call him?" Private asked, bubbling with eagerness as he waved at the infant. He was sure the new mother sent Skipper a triumphant and cheeky look.

"Petey."

"I hate you."


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is going to be short, so sorry about that!**

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><p>Petey was a right sweetheart, everyone loved him. Fuchsia was really protective of him and the two were never seen apart. Julian had only taken a week to understand that Petey was not his J.J or heir or a lemur or anything to do with him.<p>

The best bit though?

This:

"Dada!" Petey toddled after Skipper, his flippers out to the side to balance himself. "Dada!" He demanded. Skipper hopped around him. "Dada…" Petey was getting increasingly distressed and was now closed to tears.

"No, no, laddie, I ain't your dada. Destroy that video, soldier!" He barked. Rico startled and threw the camera to Fuchsia. Petey grabbed hold of Skipper's wing ad smiled up at him. Skipper managed to free himself carefully, but he still put the infant on the verge of crying. "Give me that camera!" Rico barfed and a bow landed on the camera. A gift.

"It's mine now. And you can't destroy this as you promised not to meddle with my things, remember? Penguin honour." Skipper scowled at her, but didn't get to respond as Petey fell forward and started crying. Right at Skipper's feet.

"Oh no, don't cry. There is no room for waterworks in this unit." Fuchsia took over.

"Mama!" Petey let his mother hold him, pointing accusingly at Skipper, sniffling. "Dada!"

"Don't worry, bud." Fuchsia assured, settling her bairn on her feet. "Mama will look after you."

"Dada!"

"I am not his dada!" Skipper retorted briskly. Petey waved his small flipper at his 'Dada!' "Nope. Manfreedi and Johnson-"

"Oh, here we go." Fuchsia rolled her eyes. "Is there anything Manfreedi and Johnson _didn't_ do?" Skipper contemplated her for a moment, flippers behind his back.

"Lived." He replied curtly. Fuchsia didn't respond to that, staring him out instead. Skipper didn't stoop to entertain these games this time, ordering his men topside for a training session. Petey pointed after them insistently, looking up at his mother with pleading, baby blues. Fuchsia sighed. She was going to have to overcome this look Petey did- too cute to refuse. He just like to watch the big penguins train, flipping and fighting and being _awesome_.

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><p><strong>Sorry it's short. I was going to add more, but I wanted to put it in a separate chapter. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

The zoo opened, the weather cool with weak sunshine filtering through the fluffy clouds. Visitors swarmed in and it didn't take them long to discover the new baby penguin.

"He's so cute!" A young girl gushed, tugging on her father's hand and trying to point the fluffy infant out. Petey didn't like all the attention and hid behind his mother. She had taken up the cute and cuddly routine, no problem- Petey was still adjusting.

"Military training would give him back bone." Skipper hissed from the corner of his beak.

"Naff off." Fuchsia muttered back, maintaining her smile.

"Just saying. Men, adorable penguin pastimes!" The four penguins immediately started jumping about, diving, swimming, chasing each other, playing. The crowd started to throw fish, but a few were pointing at a perplexed Fuchsia and muttering to themselves.

Private slid up to his friend, waving at Petey. He explained that if you were a cute and cuddly penguin, the humans would feed you fish. One landed on his head as he said that and he offered it to her.

"No thank you." She glanced around. "What do I do?"

"Just play with Petey. He's really cute, so we might get extra fish!" Private beamed. He stumbled away and dived in to the water to team up with Rico and be adorable. Fuchsia watched them curiously for a moment, distracted by Petey nudging her in the back.

"Mama…" He wailed, glancing anxiously around at all the humans.

"It's OK, Petey." Fuchsia assured. "They'll give us food." Petey looked up curiously at that.

"F-Foo?" He tried.

"Foo_d_." She corrected kindly, stressing the 'd'. "Yummy food." Petey sent another look at the people, still nervous, but hungry too. "Come on." She gently pushed him forward, urging him into a waddle. Skipper jumped from the water and shook himself dry; an idea formed in Fuchsia's mind. "Go and see Dada." Petey brightened at that and hurried forward, flippers out to balance himself.

"Dada!" He called. Skipper ended up playing Tag with the infant- Fuchsia constantly backed away, diving or sliding, leaving him no choice but to keep the boy from harm.

Sighing, he stopped. Petey giggled and caught up with him. "Dada!" He said happily, hugging Skipper. The humans 'aawwww'ed and it was like the heavens had opened- fish rained down, glorious and delicious.

"See?" Fuchsia grinned, selecting a small fish to feed her son. "If you're not mean to him, you get more food."

"Yeah, that's great." Skipper managed to shake Petey off, but the child had food now and didn't seem to mind. Fuchsia picked some extra small fish and put them into a pile before looking Skipper up and down. "Now what?"

"You love him really. I mean," She gestured at Petey, "how can you not love that adorableness!"

"It's true, Skipper." Kowalski added. "You seem to tolerate Petey more than you did." Rico gabbled in agreement and then went for the fish, disappearing into one of the piles of sea food. Private snickered to himself.

"Spit it out, soldier." Skipper ordered briskly.

"I think you might be getting a soft spot for him!" Private replied quickly, giving a stifled, amused laugh into his flippers. Skipper's eyes didn't leave him and he quelled his humour. "Sorry, Skipper. Misju-"

"No, I think he's on to something there." Fuchsia cut across, smirking. "You like Petey _really_, don't you, Skipper?" The commanding officer glared at them all individually. Rico still hadn't emerged from his dinner and Petey was still pecking at his.

"As Private was going to say," He said firmly, "this is all a big misjudgement of your leader! That leads to insubordination and-"

"Save it." Fuchsia sighed. "Mr. Heart-of-Steel is too _jumped up_ to admit he's _wrong_." Skipper glowered at her. Fuchsia replied similarly.

"Vet!" Rico warned. His fish had vanished.

The penguins formed a line, Petey resting on his mother's feet for his mid-morning nap. He was just dozing off when both he and his mother were picked up and put in a pet carrier.

"Mama!" He cried, clinging to her ankle. She shushed him kindly, patting him on the head. He hid his face in her feathers and didn't see anything until he was pulled away from her. "Mama!" The cage door was still open. Petey struggled in the vet's hands, calling for her.

Anger sparked through her; Fuchsia leapt from the carrier and straight at the vet, knocking him back. Thankfully he didn't drop Petey, but he couldn't do anything else with a raging penguin mother on his head.

"Shawna!" That was a strange cry for help. Fuchsia didn't understand it until another vet struck her with a needle and she felt drowsy. _Shawna_ was another human, one who drugged penguins and put them in cages to 'sleep'.

The vet thanked his assistant. She was more intrigued with the baby penguin.

"Oh, he's the cutest thing _ever_!" She beamed. "But he's scared."

"We did just sedate his mother. He's not very old, so I doubt he's become self-reliant." Petey was raised until he was staring the vet in the face. "It is alright, little one." He promised. "We won't hurt." The vet set Petey on a large table. The young penguin could still see his mother, lying on her front and not trying to help him.

"Mama!" He cried, walking towards her. The vet laughed softly and picked him, putting him back in his place. Petey sniffled and tried again, but the man just kept moving him back.

"Now, now, young man. This won't take long; just hold still."

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><p>"They're back!" Private announced. The vet had returned, but he wasn't carrying a carrier case this time. Just Petey. A very distraught Petey. He waddled right up to Skipper the second he was set down.<p>

"Dada!" He pointed accusingly at the retreating vet. "Mama!" He insisted, teary-eyed.

"Skipper, I think they've kept Fiz in." Kowalski commented.

"Do you think she's alright?" Private added, wringing his flippers fretfully.

"Only one way to find out. Move out!" His men obediently jumped into action, but Petey had other ideas. Skipper was _not_ leaving. He was going to stay here and let Petey sit on his feet and getting comfortable. "Look here, laddie. I run a highly trained military operation here. I've no time for goo-goo-ing babies. That team needs a Skipper!"

"Dada!"

"You've got no idea what I'm saying, do you?"

"Dada!" Skipper sighed. It was a long five three minutes, but the other three eventually returned.

"Report!" He commanded as they fell into line.

"Fuchsia is heavily sedated, Skipper." Kowalski answered. "Shouldn't last more than a few hours."

"Excellent work, men." They saluted.

"Um, permission to speak, sir?" Private asked.

"Granted."

"Petey is-"

"Highly stubborn. This was not my doing. Rico, crowbar." Rico obliged. Private dashed forward and intercepted the tool. "Private!"

"You can't, Skipper! You'll hurt him and yourself."

"I appreciate the concern Private, but I can't be on baby duty!"

"He can't be too troublesome, sir. Look." Skipper peered down and saw Petey had fallen asleep. His men bustled at the cuteness. "Save your cooing for another time. Private, take the little fluff ball below and-" Private giggled. "What's so funny, soldier?"

"Nothing, sir. I just think it's sweet that he's picked you over us to be his dada."

"And your point it?"

"You're clearly an excellent role model." Kowalski complimented.

"Yup yup!" Rico agreed.

"Role model or not, I won't stand for this!"

"But, sir, you are standing."

"That's not what I meant, Private!"


	6. Chapter 6

Fuchsia returned, groggy and disorientated, but highly ticked off. She did not appreciate the 'rough handling' the 'stupid humans' had used on Petey.

"It wasn't rough handling," Private started to explain. Fuchsia silenced him with a look.

"Where is Petey?" Private, Rico and Kowalski exchanged amused looks, stifling giggles. "What?" Fuchsia asked carefully, eyeing them all warily. She didn't want to find out that she had come back to a mutant baby or something. One psychotic penguin was enough, thank you very much.

"Well, in your absence, Petey has become rather attached to Skipper." Kowalski snickered. "He certainly has your stubbornness."

"As he should." Fuchsia said proudly. "But where is he?" They led her below, watching her expectantly as she processed what was going on. Then they did a double-take: this wasn't how they had left Skipper and Petey.

Skipper had been thoroughly annoyed at being stuck on 'baby duty' and Petey had been nice and comfortable perched on his dada's feet, sleeping peacefully.

Now, at the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Petey was wide awake and Skipper was lying on his stomach on the floor, crayon in flipper as he coloured with the infant. He was even smiling.

No-one said anything. Fuchsia's curiosity won out, however, and she cleared her throat. Skipper startled to his feet, looking down at the colouring book and the crayon he held; the latter he hid hastily behind his back.

"Hey, you're feeling better!"

"Duh."

"Excellent. You can take the fluff ball back now and-"

"Skipper." Fuchsia interrupted. "We're not blind."

"No, but you may be delusional."

"Granted," She replied without missing a beat, "but we'd have to have a pretty wild imagination to come up with you smiling." She paused. "Oh, and happily colouring with Petey."

"Mama!" Petey threw down his crayon and hurried over as fast as he could. Fuchsia caught him and he buried his face in her feathers, laughing.

"Yeah, I'm back." She smiled. Petey took her by the flipper and insistently dragged her over to look at his and 'Dada's' pictures.

* * *

><p>"Knock knock!"<p>

"'Lene!" Petey called. Marlene emerged from her water, landing inches away. "'Lene!" Petey repeated excitedly.

"There's my little buddy! Come to Aunty Marlene!" She held her paws out. "Come on!" She encouraged. Petey waddled forward and hugged the crazy otter. "There's my boy!" Marlene started playing peekaboo with her adopted nephew before remembering Fuchsia. "So, what brings you here? How did the vets go?"

"Oh, the vets wasn't all that, really."

"No, no! I heard you attacked the vet!"

"A bit, but-"

"Ooh, do tell."

"Petey was scared and I just... attacked him. Nothing to it really." Marlene started to say something, probably about to demand details. Fuchsia had a better story. "You know Petey calls Skipper his 'dada'?"

"Well, duh. It's so cute!" Marlene chucked Petey under the chin. "Aren't you, sweetie? Just an adorable ball of fluff, yes you are! Oh, uh, carry on, Fiz." Fuchsia shook her head at her friend's strange ways and explained the whole baby duty incident. "Wait, wait, wait. Wait." Marlene ordered, waving her paws to indicate silence right now. "Skipper?"

"I like to think of him as Mr. Supposedly-too-high-and-mighty-for-babies-unless-no-one-is-watching-and-even-then-I-try-to-deny-it."

"But we are talking about the same guy, right?" Fuchsia nodded and Marlene gaped.

"Breathe."

"Iknewit! IknewSkipperdidn'treallyhatePetey!"

"That's not breathing." Marlene started a series of long, deep breaths, but kept giggling at the thought of Skipper- the top-notch, heart of stone, penguin commando officer- lying on the floor without a care in the world, colouring with the young infant that adopted him as a father, albeit Skipper's reluctance at and denial of this.

"I need to go and see him!" Marlene exclaimed, dashing away. Fuchsia snickered to herself.

"Come on, Petey. Don't want to miss this."


	7. Chapter 7

**I've been re-inspired to write Penguins! Forgive me for abandoning this! Although I can't believe it's been a year since I worked on this, that can't be right! D:**

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><p>Despite everything and anything that was said to Skipper, he was still absolutely adamant that Petey was a nuisance who needed discipline and to learn respect, rather quickly as well. "I can't stand for this anymore!" Fuchsia rolled her eyes. Petey was a month old now and was getting better at his words, his favourite of all being- of course- 'Dada'. And- of course- Dada was still Skipper. "We've a reputation to uphold; I can't have my sworn enemies knowing that this fluff ball insists I'm his father!"<p>

"Ah, yes, these _sworn enemies_, so _ruthless_ and _terrifying_. No wonder you wake up so grumpy with all them nightmares."

"If I may, Fiz," Kowalski intervened, "but they are not nightmares or clever little stories to entertain Petey. They are, in fact, true missions we've been on and villainous scoundrals we've encountered." Fuchsia nodded slowly, clearly not believing a word any of them said. "I suppose you'd want proof now?" She shrugged. Petey copied and laughed, clapping his flippers together. "Well... we have some declassified files for you to look at."

"Been there, done that."

"Excuse me?"

"I've gone through all your files, declassified or not. Which of you is the secret artist, may I ask?"

"That's private penguin intel! You can't just go rifling through willy-nilly!" Skipper squared his shoulders. Petey squeaked at the raised voice, scurrying to his Uncle Private. "How do we know you're not some spy for the likes of Doctor Blowhole or Hans the Puffin?"

"Doctor What-now and who the puffin?"

"Doctor Blowhole and Hans the Puffin! You could be here to gather secrets about us, discover our weaknesses, exploit them! You're here to bring this operation down!" He pointed an accusing flipper at her. Fuchsia sighed, pushing aside his accusation.

"If I was here to bring you all down, I'd have done it by now."

"Then why haven't you?"

"Because that's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm an inhabitant of this zoo, here to entertain the masses that come through those cheaply made gates every day in the hope to glean fishy snacks from them after making myself look like a total fool."

"That could have been said with less sarcasm." Skipper grumbled.

"Stupid remarks get sarcasm, Skipper. Didn't Manfreedi and Johnson teach you anything?" Skipper fumed. Fuchsia smirked. "Besides, those files of yours... just something to keep me amused, I don't take it seriously."

"Well, you should, sister! Blowhole is a cunning, loathsome, twisted monster-"

"With loads of cool toys." Kowalski added wistfully.

"-who will do anything to get his fins on our secrets!"

"Fins? Is he a penguin too?"

"No, he's a dolphin."

"Ah. Blowhole. Dolphin. Right. Very creative." Fuchsia gestured to Petey. "Want to go and annoy Julian, kiddo?" Petey nodded enthusiastically, rushing over. Fuchsia hefted him onto her back and started hopping up the ladder.

"WAIT!" Skipper bellowed. The female froze and looked back amusedly. Petey did too, smiling at his dada. "Get back here!"

"And why would I do that?" When Skipper struggled for a response, Fuchsia nodded, as if she expected that, and disappeared through the hatch. Skipper stomped his foot in frustration and lobbed his cup across the room. His men stared at him.

"Skipper?" Private asked carefully. "Are you alright?"

"That damn woman!" He raged. "Why has she got to be like that? She's lived with us long enough to know that we are a serious, hard-working, well-trained all penguin force, how dare she? She's driving me mad, I can't believe she has the audacity to treat me like this!"

"Treat _you _like what, Skipper?" Kowalski noticed. Skipper froze and glowered. A slow grin spread across Kowalski's face. Rico gabbled and flapped his flippers, bouncing excitedly. "I believe a certain otter friend of ours will be most pleased."

"What are you yapping about, soldier?" Skipper scolded.

"Nothing, Skipper, nothing at all." Still, Kowalski had that sly look about him, almost a superior knowledge of something. Skipper frowned at him. Rico hiccupped a pair of ear muffs onto Private's head and clamped them there with tape. Private protested, trying to pull them off. Rico danced in front of him, blocking the other two from view. Kowalski smirked and leant forward, eye to eye with his sergeant. "Skipper, forgive me for stepping out of line, but am I sensing anything between you and-?"

"Button that beak, Kowalski, and think nothing of the sorts! Rico, release the private!" Rico grunted. Private yelled as the tape was pulled away, pulling free a few feathers.

"Was that _really_ necessary? What were you talking about?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, young Private." Skipper said curtly.

"Am I not a high enough rank again?"

"No."

"Then, why can't I know?"

"Because I say so, Private." The youngster, under his boss's stern look, nodded and stepped back in line. "I want no more crackpot ideas from anyone, _Kowalski_."

"Aye, Skipper."

"And not a word to Marlene." Kowalski inclined his head. Techincally, he wouldn't be saying _a_ word to Marlene. More like _several_ words. That was a wonderful loophole.

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><p><strong>I'm sure someone asked about pairings, so this is me testing a few things. There may not be an official pairing, maybe just a few hints at some, but that is all. What do you think? And, I'm really sorry, I'm a terrible fanfictioner, I still can't get my head around how long it's been since I worked on this! D: <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Skipper collected his morning brew, dunking a sardine in the murky liquid, when Private scurried up to him, papers clutched to his chest and trailing on the floor. He seemed all flustered, scrambling to keep hold of what little he hadn't dropped.

"Speak." Skipper instructed.

"Our files, sir. They've been compromised." Private showed him the papers and stepped aside so Skipper could see what was on the floor. Not only were these some of his most classified files, but they had also been scribbled on, in crayon, in what could only be Petey's handiwork.

"Fuchsia." Skipper growled. "Where is she?" He demanded fiercely, startling the private.

"I don't know, Skipper."

"Form up!" The other two rushed in, standing to attention and saluting alongside Private. "Men, recordings of our most vital missions have been defiled and Fuchsia is responsible. She let that little fluff ball draw all over them! Find her and bring her back for court marshalling!"

"You can't court marshal me." Fuchsia was leaning against the wall, Petey-free. Skipper drew in a deep breath, ready to yell and scream and shout, set for a big old kick-off. Fuchsia simply raised her flippers in the air. "I'm very sorry." She dead-panned. "I have violated penguin law and must face the rightful consequences, blah blah blah, fun times." She blew a raspberry. Rico gasped and babbled angrily. "Put a sock in it, Rico. Skipper, you don't look so well. You should really watch that blood pressure." She smiled slyly. "By the by, how's the wife?" All eyes turned to Skipper then back to Fuchsia. "That duct-tape look _really_ works for her, you've got a right catch there. Did you elope? Or did she just fall off the dashboard into your desperate, waiting flippers?" If you poured ice cold water on Skipper, it would have steamed the whole lair, like a sauna. Private could almost envision steam coming out of his commander's ears; just lots and lots of steam, no matter which method occured. And temper. Skipper was a ticking-time bomb.

There were no words when Skipper exploded. He bellowed like a raging bull and charged. Fuchsia reacted at the very last second, hopping up and over her new victim, somersaulting as she did so and kicking him in the back. Skipper tumbled forward, smacking into the pipe rungs. He shook his head clear and rose once more, staggering over words- _treacherous... she-demon... no good... spy... Blowhole_...

Fuchsia sighed. "I've no idea who this Blowhole guy is, if he really does exist. I'm no spy, I'm just very nosy. And it's quite amusing getting past all your defences. I was very impressed with the password protection, Kowalski. Simple, yet effective. Doris is old-school though, don't you think?" Kowalski frowned.

"Maybe we should all calm down-" Private tried. Skipper yelled at him to stand down. Fuchsia turned to face him, defensive stance in place. "No, wait!" Private pleaded. "Skipper, please! Kowalski, help me! Rico?!" Rico was having too much fun watching all this mayhem; Kowalski was stung by the Doris comment and stayed quiet.

It was Fuchsia that helped. You see, Private had noticed something. Say what you like about Fuchsia, but there were two things that _should _beenknow about her. She never left Petey unattended and her eyes were the bluest of icy blues Private had ever seen. The lair door swung open, revealing Marlene, Petey and Fuchsia. The _real _Fuchsia. She stopped short upon seeing her double, the double with _sky_ blue eyes, the double facing off with Skipper. She blinked a few times, confused.

"Hold on a cotton-picking minute, what is this? Who are you? Marlene, did I miss a prank day or something? Why's Skipper look like he really needs the toilet? And why do you all look like I was just beamed down from a spaceship or something?"

"Uh..."

"A man of a thousand words. Petey, get." Fuchsia flung a flipper out, directing her son to Private. Skipper fumed, unsure which traitor he should attack first. "Skipper, chill. I got this one."

"Do you now?" Her double smirked. "It hasn't been that long, do you honestly not recognise me?"

"I recognise you as a total psycho." Fuchsia and her mysterious doppleganger pounced at the same time, hitting out at each other. Fuchsia landed her punch, ducking away from the other's and skipping back to Rico. "Surprise me." Rico coughed up a frying pan. "I don't know how that got in there or how it got back out, I'm not even going to ask. Hey!" She yelled, swinging her new weapon at the imposter. "Back!" _Dong_.

"What is it with you and frying pans?!"

"I saw it on a movie." Fuchsia narrowed her eyes. "How'd you know that?"

"Exactly the same reason as to why I know that you _left_ the flock, you were never _lost_."

"Ugh, _you_." Fuchsia lowered the frying pan. "Did it ever occur to you that I didn't want to see your stupid face anymore?"

"Wait, you _left_ your flock?" Private gawped. "What about the storm and the wildlife preservers and-?"

"Oh, the preserver bit is true." Fuchsia raised the pan again, smacking her opponent flat with it. "Stay. I'm not fighting you in front of Petey."

"You could never win against me."

"This doesn't add up." Kowalski complained, massaging his skull. "If you were a wild penguin, how would you know about frying pans and movies and... what?" Fuchsia didn't answer, kicking the other female across the floor, towards Skipper.

"Intruder!" She shouted when Skipper remained blank. She flipped the switch to the alarms, which got Skipper in gear.

"Apprehend her!" His men jumped into action, Private leaving Petey with Marlene. Fuchsia stood back, leaning on her pan to watch the arrest gleefully. The boys made quick work of it, the double trussed up from head to toe in a pretty pink bow. "Right!" Skipper raged. "I want answers!"

"You won't get the truth out of h-mm!" Rico had stuffed a sock into the other girl's beak and taped it shut. "Mm! MM-MM-_MM_!"

"Ah, you were always an excellent conversationalist."

"Fuchsia, if that is who you really are, we need _answers_."

"Yeah, right. Great way to start the morning. OK, this is my... second cousin or something, I don't know, I never remember how she's related to me. Anyway, she's Janna, she's a bundle of delight, as you may have noticed. We were in the same flock until some scientists took us all away to some weird Artic lab thingy. I couldn't really make sense of it all, it was just a mad rush. Some of us escaped, others were taken. Um... we used to get on alright, until Kevin rejected her."

"Kevin?"

"Petey's dad."

"Dada!" Petey beamed, waddling towards Skipper. Janna stared in amazement.

"What happened then?"

"They took Kevin one day and... we never saw him again. She blamed me. She said I should have been taken instead, why did I let them take Kevin?" Fuchsia's voice caught. "It was meant to be me, but Kevin... he fought to keep them away from me. They must have thought he was crazy or something, because... like I said, he never came back." She wiped at her eyes and sniffed. "Anyway, I got out the next day. We'd been planning an escape for us anyway; two penguins were easy to get out. We were going to come back for the others. I got out and tracked down the ones that had got away. Helped get the others out and left. Too many questions, not enough answers."

"And she's here because?"

"I don't know. Revenge?" Janna nodded and glowered. "Revenge." Fuchsia confirmed.

"That's not the whole story. How did you get with the preservers?"

"Stowed away." She looked to Skipper, who was struggling to reign in his temper. "What did she say to you?"

"She knows too much."

"Kowalski's got a bottle of amnesia spray. Why don't you just use that?"

"And _how_ do _you_ know that?"

"I thought it was ketchup and accidentally got Private. Sorry, mate." Janna started struggling against her imprisonments. Kowalski stomped past her, retrieving the infamous ketchup bottle. "She's annoyed you too. What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." He grumbled. Fuchsia started to say more and then held her breath. The amnesia spray set in almost immediately. "Mixed with a little sleeping gas too." Kowalski said, shaking the bottle at Skipper. Janna dozed off, head bowed. "How did she track you down?"

"That I don't know."

"Skipper, how can we be sure our HQ is safe?" Private worried.

"Everyone on guard. Kowalski, check the radar; Rico, double the defences. Private, get her in a box to the Hoboken Zoo, double time." They all saluted and zipped away. Petey tried to chase after them until his mother called him back. "Anymore bombshell secrets?"

"I ate your last kipper, I'm sorry. I was starving."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. It was just the first thing in my head. Are you alright?"

"How many files did you see?"

"Most of them. I was going to crack the code on the one that says 'Skipper only', but I haven't got that far yet. Best 'til last. Although, judging by that look you're wearing, I should leave it for a while."

"You should just leave it."

"Are you going to be OK?"

"I will when I know we're safe here."

"Safe!" Petey repeated. "Dada safe!" Skipper sighed. "Dada make safe!" Petey smiled up at the commanding officer. Fuchsia smiled proudly.

"Is he ever going to stop calling me that?"

"Probably not."


	9. Chapter 9

"Yesterday was so surreal." Private rubbed at his eyes. "I thought Fuchsia was just a normal penguin mother, not... a lab escapee or anything." He shook his head. "Did that really happen?"

"Yes it did." Skipper grumbled. He was most unhappy with Fuchsia, even more so because he'd stayed up all night just to make sure the extra security measures were working. He glared at the back of Fuchsia's head. Kowalski smiled, head bowed. Skipper didn't notice. Fuchsia was sitting with Petey, who was trying to continue sleeping no matter what his mother did or said. "Oy." Skipper called. Fuchsia ignored him. The commanding officer cleared his throat. Still, she didn't reply.

"Um, may I suggest calling her by name, Skipper?" Private asked quietly.

"No, you may not."

"For what it's worth, Private, I think that's a very considerate suggestion, thank you." Fuchsia smiled at the Private and stuck her tongue out at Skipper. Rico hopped down from his bunk, his doll under his flipper. "Morning, Rico." He babbled at Fuchsia, plopping into his seat next to Kowalski, peering curiously at his invention of the day. "Petey, come on. Wakey wakey." Petey rolled onto his front. "No, this isn't going to work." Fuchsia scanned the lair thoughfully, her gaze lingering on Skipper. She smiled lopsidedly. "Petey, Dada wants you."

"Dada?" Petey queried, raising his head interestedly. He squirmed until he could smile at his adopted father. "Dada!" Skipper groaned and smacked his head down on the table. Petey hopped to his feet and skidaddled over. Private shifted over and helped Petey up onto one of the bricks they used for seats. "Dada! Hello!" Skipper sighed.

"Hello, fluff ball." He muttered. Fuchsia lay back down on her pile of bedding.

"I'm on strike today."

"I don't think so!" Skipper sat upright, temper reigniting. "Unfortunately for us, you're part of this habitat now and I'm in charge here!"

"You're in charge of your penguin commando unit or whatever it's called, not me or Petey. So, if I go on strike, so does Petey, which means he's free to spend his day with whichever one of you he pleases." Petey beamed at Skipper. "Apparently, that's you. Good day." Fuchsia turned her back on them. Private looked excitedly to Petey. Skipper nodded at him, putting him on the first shift of baby duty.

"Want to get some popcorn, Petey?"

"Pop, pop, pop!" Petey agreed.

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><p>Fuchsia had gone to Marlene's after her lie-in, winding Alice up by skipping back and forth between the two habitats. Private had spent the morning with Petey until Skipper ordered Kowalski to look after the tot. "Tone down the explosions, Kowalski." Skipper insisted. "I'm not dealing with any tantrums. Rico is to take over after lunch."<p>

"Skipper?"

"What?"

"It was not Fuchsia's fault, everything that happened. Don't be angry at her that misfortune laid itself heavily upon her shoulders."

"Kowalski, you know I don't care much for sob stories." Skipper marched out.

"Well then, Petey, looks like it's me and you. Um... let's, uh... play chess, I'll teach you to play chess. That'll work." It didn't work. Petey nearly choked on a bishop, complaining when Kowalski took it away. Instead, they played catch and hide and seek and any other childish game Kowalski could think of. He was very surprised to find the pasttimes rather enjoyable. "Nine, ten! Ready or not, here I come!"

"Ah, wazzat?" Rico was in the doorway.

"Hide and seek. Care to join us?" Petey popped up from under the desk and smiled. Rico nodded, extending the game to the rest of the lair. Kowalski helped Rico on his shift as well, something Skipper wasn't happy with. "Skipper, you'll be surprised how much fun you for can have playing games with a child."

"You'll be surprised how far I can kick you if you don't get your feathery backside topside for training."

"Ay, Skipper."

"Rico, where do you think you're going?" Kowalski and Rico shared looks and then vanished, leaving Skipper with Petey. "Get back here! That's an order! Insubordination!"

"Nation!" Petey repeated cheerily. "Dada! Dada, play!"

"No. No play." Skipper started to walk off. Petey toddled after him. "No."

"Dada! Play! Pwease!"

"No, Petey, no play." Petey scrunched his little face up. "PRIVATE! FALL IN!" However, Private didn't appear. "What is this?" Skipper clambered up the rungs and peeked out. He couldn't see any of his men.

"Dada! Wazzat?" Petey called. Skipper dropped back down, expecting Petey to be pointing up at the hatch, but he wasn't. He was pointing at the TV screen. "Big fishy!" He wailed, stomping his feet and flapping his flippers.

"I'm a mammal!"

"Blowhole!"

"Greetings, Skipper! I have your pen-gu-in friends here! Say hello!" The dolphin villain moved to one side, a steel box wrapped in chains. There were tiny holes in the top for air, but that was it.

"What do you want now, Blowhole?"

"Revenge!"

"Aside from that?"

"You think you're _so_ clever, don't you, Skipper?"

"I don't think. I know. I'm coming for you, Blowhole." The dolphin cackled and squeaked with laughter.

"And how are you going to do that? You're all _alone_! And your son is with you!"

"Petey!" The box rocked back and forth. "OK, I take the sarcastic remark back; you're not a cyborg dolphin or a hologram, but if you do _anything_ to hurt Petey, I will harpoon you into a volcano!" The box shook again.

"Mama!" Petey cried. "Dada, Mama! Help Mama!"

"And you can't leave little Petey on his own now, can you, Skipper?" Blowhole smirked victoriously.

"You sent Janna."

"Yes, of course I did. She had the skills and I had the smarts."

"Don't kid yourself, you jumped-up sardine!" Fuchsia yelled.

"Someone shut her up! I will see you soon, Skipper. I can't wait to meet your son!"

"He's not-" Skipper started, but Blowhole shut down the connection. Petey looked to Skipper pleadingly, sniffling. "Oh great. Typical penguin luck running true to form. Kid, I don't know how much you can understand of what I'm saying." Petey stared at him blankly. Skipper growled, annoyed. "If Dada," he forced himself to say, "says no, that means _no_. Do you understand?" Petey blinked.

"No mean no." He repeated carefully. "Dada say no. No mean no."

"So, you've got to do exactly what I say, yes?"

"Yes mean no?"

"No. No means no. Yes means yes." Petey frowned.

"Mama?"

"We'll get your mama, fluff ball, but I need to know you can be good."

"Dada?" Petey paused. "Go... wi' Dada?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Dada... help Mama?"

"Yeah."

"Me help Dada help Mama?"

"Yeah..." Petey squealed excitedly, jumping and clapping. He threw himself at Skipper, knocking him flat in a hug.

"Dada!" Skipper patted Petey on the back. "Yay, Dada! Ta!"

"It's alright, Petey." Skipper found himself saying. "Dada's got this."

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><p><strong>Hahaha, ACCEPTANCE! Happy New Year! <strong>


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